Unrequited Love among Young Filipino Gay Men: Subjective Experiences of Unreciprocated Lovers

Eric Julian Manalastas


In this exploratory study, I investigated lived experiences of unrequited love among young Filipino gay men in order to explore unrequited love beyond its heteronormative forms. Analysis of qualitative accounts from 11 out gay men who participated in focus groups indicated that unrequited love was a highly meaningful subjective experience involving a spectrum of negative affect, uncertainty, and self-esteem lowering. Non-reciprocity was often attributed to a lack of matching on dimensions like availability, sexual orientation, relationship goals, and personality. Non-homophobic social support was important in the reduction of uncertainty and management of distress, in addition to other strategies for coping with rejection and non-formation of the desired love relationship.


Unrequited love; Gay men; Romantic relationships; Non-reciprocity

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